Waiting...

I'm caught in the tropical rain. Can't really complain about it though. At least I was lucky enough to get myself to a restaurant before it started pouring.
So now I'm sitting with a hot cup of coffee looking out at a grey and wet Kampala. Actually this gloomy weather compliments my state of my mind perfectly.

Today was my second day at work at Reach Out. We went on two home visits to patients that were to weak to come to the clinic.
One of the two was Susan. When I saw her through the slit in the door I almost couldn't go in. It was like being in the middle of one of those Red Cross ads showing the worst of the worst to make people donate money.
She was too weak to even sit up. Last time she was weighed she was 31kg (68lbs). Her cd4 (T-cell) count was 3. A normal cd4 count is about 600-1500. It was like her body had just given up.
I've never before seen a person so sick and I felt very uncomfortable being in her home. I felt like I was invading her privacy and I couldn't really see the purpose of my presence there because there was absolutely nothing I could do to help her. I felt like I was just there to watch her suffering and it made me very conscious about the differences in this world.
I come from a place where people don't have to die from this disease.
I represent the part of the world that has the power to do something, but on a large scale is just closing it's eyes.
I'm not a doctor and I'm not a politician and there's little I can do, but as Stella (the nurse that I went there with) said, 'It's important that you see this, because we have to create awareness in the world, and all the volunteers who come here have to take this experience home with them and share it.'

Now, a couple of hours later, I, the rich white girl, am sitting in a restaurant waiting for the rain to stop, while Africa is waiting for the rest of the world to open it's eyes and start caring about their fellow humanbeings.
By the time that happens it will be too late for Susan.

(Written on May 9th)